I Won’t Go Back To My Family Who…

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Ko - fi & Pateron

Table of Contents

  • 1. Chapter 1. I Was Abandoned By My Family
  • 2. Chapter 2. Today's Luck Doesn't Seem So Bad
  • 3. Chapter 3. There's No Way She’s Incompetent
  • 4. Chapter 4. Maybe It's Better To Break Up
  • 5. Chapter 5. I Wish I Had A Family Like This
  • 6. Chapter 6. ‘No Luck’ Is An Ability
  • 7. Chapter 7. I've Been Waiting For You
  • 8. Chapter 8. The Reason Why My Family Avoided Me
  • 9. Chapter 9. Lock Her Up Or Kick Her Out
  • 10. Chapter 10. Who's That Gold Thread Bracelet For?
  • 11. Chapter 11. Those Who Ignore Their Good Fortune
  • 12. Chapter 12. Where The Luck Left
  • 13. Chapter 13. If There’s No Place To Go Back
  • 14. Chapter 14. I’ll Decide Where To Be
  • 15. Chapter 15. I Like The Threat Of Being Here
  • 16. Chapter 16. There’s A Little Bit Of Bad Luck
  • 17. Chapter 17. “Good Luck” Is Unexpected
  • 18. Chapter 18. Where Misfortunes Come
  • 19. Chapter 19. In Order To Move Forward
  • 20. Chapter 20 - You’ll See, I’m Sure It’ll Be Successful 
  • 21. Chapter 21. It’s Time To Let Go
  • 22. Chapter 22. If You Really Want It
  • 23. Chapter 23. I'm Not Buying It, I'm Just Wondering Where They Sell It.
  • 24. Chapter 24. Who’s On Their Knees?
  • 25. Chapter 25. We’re Getting Closer, And They’re Falling Apart
  • 26. Chapter 26. Your Ability Is So Useless
  • 27. Chapter 27. Blue Ribbons And A White Rose
  • 28. Chapter 28. It’s Already Over
  • 29. Chapter 29. Over-Reacting To A Bad Joke
  • 30. Chapter 30. My Greed To Make You Happy
  • 31. Chapter 31. To See What Kind Of Person You Are
  • 32. Chapter 32. Who’s The Winner?
  • 33. Chapter 33. I Hope We Can Reach Each Other Someday
  • 34. Chapter 34. The Broken One And The Strong One
  • 35. Chapter 35. Don’t Be Ashamed Of Yourself
  • 36. Chapter 36. A Good Person, A Bad Person
  • 37. Chapter 37. Blood Of The Extinct Family
  • 38. Chapter 38: I Did My Best
  • 39. Chapter 39. Someone Wins, Someone Loses
  • 40. Chapter 40. Welcome To
  • 41. Chapter 41. Tell You Want You Want To Hear
  • 42. Chapter 42. I Didn’t Want You To Be
  • 43. Chapter 43. I Can't Protect You Just Because You're Family
  • 44. Chapter 44. It’s Not Until You’ve Lost The Obvious
  • 45. Chapter 45. Unwanted Generosity Is Just Unpleasant
  • 46. Chapter 46. Cookies Sold By An Unlucky Person
  • 47. Chapter 47 I Want You To Believe That Rumor
  • 48. Chapter 48. The People Who Love Me
  • 49. Chapter 49. Using A Crisis As An Opportunity
  • 50. Chapter 50. What Do You Think About Him?
  • 51. Chapter 51. Luck Itself
  • 52. Chapter 52. Don’t Mess With Me
  • 53. Chapter 53. You Want To Adopt Me?
  • 54. Chapter 54. How Can I Confess First? What Can’t I Do?
  • 55. Chapter 55. I Like You More
  • 56. Chapter 56. Worth The Price Of A Cookie
  • 57. Chapter 57. May Luck Pour Down Like Rain
  • 58. Chapter 58. The Ability ‘Luck’
  • 59. Chapter 59. Love Yourself More
  • 60. Chapter 60. I Hope You’re Ready For Everything To Come Back
  • 61. Chapter 61. My Brother-in-law And My Sister-in-law
  • 62. Chapter 62. Things Only You Can Do
  • 63. Chapter 63. It’s Not That I Don’t Want To Get Married
  • 64. Chapter 64. An Uncomfortable Guest
  • 65. Chapter 65. Your Misfortune Is More Enjoyable Than My Happiness
  • 66. Chapter 66. When You Realize How Precious It Is After Throwing It Away
  • 67. Chapter 67. It’s Late, But Is It Too Late
  • 68. Chapter 68. Nothing Changes Now
  • 69. Chapter 69. When Misfortune Hits A Fun Party
  • 70. Chapter 70. When Misfortunes Points To Me
  • 71. Chapter 71. The Reality Of The Misfortune
  • 72. Chapter 72. We’re A Married Couple!
  • 73. Chapter 73. Individual Nights
  • 74. Chapter 74. Starting With Good Faith
  • 75. Chapter 75. We Want To Have Each Other
  • 76. Chapter 76. How To Deal With Rude People
  • 77. Chapter 77. I Want To Avoid It, But I Can’t
  • 78. Chapter 78. The More You Rush, The Quicker You Fall
  • 79. Chapter 79. When We’re Together, We Bring Good Luck
  • 80. Chapter 80. I’m So Proud Of You
  • 81. Chapter 81. You Have To Bring Good Luck
  • 82. Chapter 82. The Person Who Threw It Away Can Also Be Thrown Away
  • 83. Chapter 83. I Won’t Go Back To My Family That Abandoned Me
  • 84. Chapter 84. Let Them Suffer From Regret
  • 85. Chapter 85. A Bolt Out Of The Blue
  • 86. Chapter 86. Misfortune Comes Silently
  • 87. Chapter 87. Excessive Greed Causes Disaster
  • 88. Chapter 88. Our Positions Have Changed
  • 89. Chapter 89. If You Live A Good Life, It’ll Come Back To You
  • 90. Chapter 90. I'm Happy, You're Unhappy
  • 91. Chapter 91. What’s Wrong With Abandoning Your Parents And Younger Siblings
  • 92. Chapter 92. When You’re Attached To A Goose That’s Already Gutted
  • 93. Chapter 93. Those Who Want Good Luck
  • 94. Chapter 94. After All, We’re Going Until The End
  • 95. Chapter 95. Who’s The Unlucky One?
  • 96. Chapter 96. Weeds?
  • 97. Chapter 97. A Mischief Of Rats Appeared
  • 98. Chapter 98. Nothing Good Happens If You Don’t Even Start
  • 99. Chapter 99. If You Don’t Propose, Then I Will
  • 100. Chapter 100. I’ll Give You Luck
  • 101. Chapter 101. How The Couple Spend Their Wedding Night(1)
  • 102. Chapter 102. How The Couple Spend Their Wedding Night(2)
  • 103. Chapter 103. The Twin’s Spring Day
  • 104. Chapter 104. Surprise Birthday Party
  • 105. Chapter 105. From The Beginning, It Was Meant To Be(1)
  • 106. Chapter 106. From The Beginning, It Was Meant To Be(2)
  • 107. Chapter 107. Irene’s Story
  • 108. Chapter 108. For Their Newfound Happiness(1)
  • 109. Chapter 109. For Their Newfound Happiness(2) (End)

Chapter 1. I was abandoned by my family

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 2. Today's luck doesn't seem so bad

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 3. There's no way she’s incompetent

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 4. Maybe it's better to break up

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 5. I Wish I Had A Family Like This

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 6. ‘No luck’ is an ability

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 7. I've been waiting for you

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 8. The reason why my family avoided me

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 9. Lock her up or kick her out

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 10. Who's that gold thread bracelet for?

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.

 

The man belatedly released the meaning of his words and closed his mouth.

 

‘Money doesn’t make you happy, but if you don’t have it you’re unhappy….’

 

It may sound acrimonious and pessimistic, but it was straightforward. Realizing that it’s all about his family, it sounded very touching.

 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

 

He wanted to make money because he didn’t want to make his family unhappy.

 

It wasn’t as bad as he thought. It was a very realistic and clear motive for applying.

 

He was sincere enough to come to the bookstore to check the books as soon as he saw the result of failing the first announcement. His belief that he would not make his family unhappy. He did not hide, or conceal, his belief for fear of being misunderstood, and his confidence oozed from his facial expression and language.

 

In addition, if you were applying to be an Imperial Civil servant, after seeing the paper the man left behind, most would have wanted to look good in front of him. It was impressive because of his honest attitude to express his thoughts without trying to be expedient.

 

The man also knew that all aspiring Imperial Civil servants were smart and ambitious for their own advancement, but he felt that a young man, with a motive to protect others, must become a high-ranking civil servant.

 

“Can you tell me your name, if you don’t mind?”

 

Warner Russel, a professor in the higher echelons of the Imperial Civil Service, had never written a recommendation letter for any of his students.

 

But today, for the first time, there was someone he wanted to write a letter of recommendation for.

 

***

 

“What happened, Brother? Did you pass?”

“Of course he did.”

 

Xavier criticized Irene for asking such a question.

 

But Emil went into the mansion without responding.

 

“What happened?”

 

The expression on his face was unusual, so Irene asked cautiously. Emil stopped and turned around. In front of him stood Xavier and Irene with puzzled faces.

 

‘Of course…’

 

Strangely, the words caught in his throat today.

 

“Yes, of course.”

 

Emil clenched his fist while speaking.

 

Of course he passed.

 

Of course he was accepted…

 

‘Why aren’t you happy for me?’

 

He didn’t know.

 

Xavier and Irene had no idea what Emil was thinking and just nodded silently.

 

“See, my brother would never be eliminated”

“Of course, you’ll pass the interview too.”

 

Emil was choked up and felt as if someone was suffocating him.

 

He wanted to get back to his room as quickly as possible, he gave his thanks while pretending to be calm. Emil closed his door, and after making sure he was alone, released the breath he was holding in.

 

Standing against the door for a moment, his legs gave out and he sank down.

 

“Of course…” 

 

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

 

Emil is smart, so of course he can do everything well.

 

It’s weird to make a mistake.

 

You’re smart.

 

‘No, that’s not what I want to hear.’

 

A warm voice spread to his ears as soon as he unwittingly tore at his hair.

 

[I know you’ve been working hard. Good job.]

 

She would generously embrace you, as if to say it was okay to fail.

 

[Even if it’s not this, there’s a lot you can do.]

 

They were words of faith in his potential.

 

His family thought nothing of his efforts, and the results he achieved. No, they took it for granted. The reason was simple.

 

‘Just because I have an excellent mind…’

 

It’s not that he didn’t have to try, but no one acknowledges it.

 

‘I’m frustrated.’

 

He couldn’t breathe properly, he felt like he was drowning.

 

Emil breathed out slowly trying to calm down, but the voice lingered in his ear.

 

[I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for our father.]

 

[Your life is precious.]

 

A worried look on her face and eyes that truly cherished him.

 

He’d momentarily forgotten.

 

The reason he wanted to be an Imperial Official was not because he wanted to, but because it was his father’s will.

 

“I….”

 

Emil swept down his face with a distressed look.

 

What had he missed? How long has he been… ?

 

*********************************************************************

 

 A big thank you to Amber and Jengamon for the Kofi!

♡\( ̄▽ ̄)/♡

Chapter 11. Those who ignore their good fortune

 

Leticia looked at the list in confusion. Unfortunately, Ian’s name was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Ian…”

 

She carefully grabbed Ian’s sleeve and looked at him. Ian was looking at the list with an expressionless face, and slowly lowered his head. When he eventually looked at her again, he spoke slowly.

 

“I failed.”

 

His tone was too dry and heartless to say that he was a failure.

 

Leticia clasped Ian’s sleeve tighter.

 

“Ian.”

 

She didn’t know how to comfort him. Even when everyone else was off having a good time, Ian refused and concentrated on studying for this test.

 

Knowing that, Leticia was upset for him.

 

“I know you’ve been working hard.”

“….”

“Good job.”

 

Leticia grasped both of his hands with even more force. She looked straight into his eyes and said.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

“….”

“So it’s okay.”

 

Leticia believed in Ian’s potential.

 

Ian does his best while quietly working without being seen.

 

There was no doubt that one day his potential would blossom.

 

“It’s a little disappointing.”

 

Ian stared calmly into her sparkling blue eyes, then leaned his head on Leticia’s shoulder. Leticia patted Ian on the back because she felt bad that he thought he needed to pretend to be calm as if nothing happened.

 

“That’s for sure.”

“I should have tried harder.”

“You’ve done well enough now.”

“….”

“Thank you for doing your best.”

 

She meant it.

 

His determination to take the test was great and the result was disappointing, but she was proud of Ian who took the test.

 

Ian’s expression, which touched Leticia’s heart, was looking more comfortable.

 

“I’ll do better next time.”

“Yes, you can work hard next time.”

“My name will be on the list then.”

“Yes, it will.”

 

Leticia smiled and stroked Ian’s head gently, but she didn’t notice that Ian’s eyes were on the person behind her.

 

***

 

He aced it.

 

“Congratulations, Emil!”

“I knew it would be you!”

“Emil got first place on the exam!”

 

Emil wasn’t too happy, because the result was only natural. He just thanked his colleagues for congratulating him out of courtesy.

 

Emil looked at the list once again and as soon as he checked, his mouth curled up into a grin.

 

‘Ian Achilles name is nowhere to be seen.”

 

The fact that Ian had failed the first test made him even happier.

 

‘There’s no way you would’ve passed.’

 

He never expected someone who never attended the Scholastic Academy to pass the exam, even with months of studying. Ian seemed to be foolish and ignorant. He took the test while brimming with confidence.

 

Emil looked around in a cheerful mood. He wanted to see Ian’s defeated face after he failed the exam.

 

The reality was not what he had expected.

 

Why?

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.”

 

That’s what you’re saying?

Emil watched Leticia and Ian with a confused expression.

 

It was expected that Leticia would comfort him. She might be pathetic and lacking, but she was kind and gentle by nature.

 

He thought there would be a light twinge.

 

Instead of thanking him for doing his best.

 

“There are many things you can do, if not this.’

 

Emil stiffened when he heard them both say that they believed in his potential.

 

‘Why am I so….’

 

His fists tightened involuntarily.

 

‘Don’t you feel like you lost?’

 

Even though he failed the exam, he couldn’t understand the positive atmosphere. It was strange that Leticia didn’t look disappointed, they didn’t even argue.

 

Emil left his seat because of an unknown discomfort.

 

He felt like something was welling up from inside him.

 

***

 

“Shall we eat something delicious together to make us feel better?”

 

They didn’t want to go back home yet, so Leticia made that suggestion to Ian. However, his gaze was directed elsewhere.

 

“Ian…?”

“Yes, I like that idea.”

 

She thought he wasn’t listening, but Ian nodded slightly.

 

Then he carefully told Leticia something that had come to mind.

 

“There’s something I want to do before that.”

“What is it?”

 

Leticia tilted her head slightly and asked, but Ian smiled instead of answering.

 

.  

 

.

 

.

 

The first thing Leticia and Ian did when they arrived at the square was go to the bookstore. 

 

“What are we doing here?”

“I wanted to see what I did wrong.”

 

Ian smiled softly and looked over the books. He was already looking to study and to get better as soon as the exam was over. Leticia had a little smile on her face because she was proud to see him working hard to learn from his mistakes.

 

“It won’t take long.”

“Take your time.”

 

Leticia nodded in satisfaction and looked around the bookstore.

 

‘I need to find what I want to do, too.’

 

What she’s good at.

 

Her favourite thing.

 

She was doing her best to be patient.

 

A man, who had been sitting at one of the tables reading a book, suddenly got up and quickly left the bookstore. However, he’d forgotten some of his papers on the table where he’d been sitting. 

 

“Ian, I’m going out for a minute.”

“Where are you going?”

“Someone left this behind.”

 

Leticia told Ian that she would be back soon, but he shook his head and followed her.

 

She went out looking for the man right away. Fortunately, the man realized he’d left some of his stuff behind, so she was able to catch him on his way back to the bookstore.

 

“You left this behind.”

“Oh thank you. Where do I leave my mind sometimes. Geez!”

 

The man clicked his tongue and received the papers from Leticia. He looked back and forth between Leticia and Ian, then asked.

 

“Are you both students?”

“No.”

“Yeah…?”

 

The man looked suspicious of their answers. His eyes turned towards the book in Ian’s hand. It was a book mainly read by people preparing to be an Imperial official.

 

As soon as he noticed where the man was looking, Ian said with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m preparing for the Imperial Civil Service.”

“Oh, is that so? As far as I know, today is the announcement of the first exam results.”

“Unfortunately I failed.”

“Ah… I see.”

 

He lamented as if he was sad, and then asked a question out of curiosity.

 

“Why do you want to be an Imperial official?”

 

When asked like this, everyone would answer the same way.

 

‘I have always been interested in the Imperial Civil Service and I’m studying to get good grades in the exam. I want to work hard and expand my talents.’

 

But Ian gave an unexpected answer.

 

“I want to make money.”

“What?”

“There’s no job that’s as stable and pays as well as an Imperial official.”

“….”

 

The casual way Ian said it made the man think he’d misheard at first. However, there was no change in his neutral expression.

 

“You mean you only want to do it for the money?”

 

Somehow the man felt a little disappointed.

 

Contrary to his honest and frank impression, he openly revealed his greed.

 

Ian then asked something that he was curious about.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

“What?”

“Money doesn’t make you happy, but you’re unhappy without it.”

“….”

“I don’t want to make my family unhappy, even if I can’t make them happy.”

 

It meant that the reason why he wanted to make money was for his family.