Do you know how many times I’ve starved.
You should eat when there’s food.
It was one of the principles I’ve always followed in my lives until now.
I was confident that I wouldn’t die of starvation, but there was nothing I could do about it as I was equally hungry.
In addition, none of the food served at the Duke’s mansion was tasteless.
‘Besides, everybody attentively made it for me…’
But I supposedly spilled that kind of food?
It was a ridiculous talk.
Without realizing it, I lowered my head.
No matter how sweet my mother always is, to think that I spilled the baby food, she would definitely be angry.
In addition, I felt sorry for the chef who sincerely prepared the baby food.
He even accompanied us on a summer vacation and enthusiastically provided delicious food for my family.
Not only baby food, But the chef also prepared a variety of foods for me to chew because I was starting to have multiple teeth.
The food’s taste weren’t too stimulating for a baby’s taste, but it felt like it was something that was carefully made, so that I could feel the taste.
But I didn’t eat and threw away that baby food which was so full of sincerity…?
‘What a waste….. It’s such a waste.’
B*[email protected]… You dare knock over my food bowl?
After the last incident with my sister, I thought you would be anxious, but now you even invoke magic as you please.
If you have something to say, then show up fair and square!
‘Why are you acting like this, are you a crazy b*[email protected] who destroys everything if you can’t have something?’
Even though I didn’t do it, I was troubled and wiggled my fingers, avoiding my mother’s eyes.
I even get sick often these days.
‘…..They’ll think it’s very annoying.’
Even more so, because up until now, I’ve only been meek and gentle.
Because they were such friendly parents, I thought I would even be more upset if I received their harsh eyes, so I prepared in advance.
“Right, our youngest is now 13 months old, it’s time you start doing something like this.”
“I know, wife. The youngest was so gentle that I thought this period would pass quietly.”
Before I knew it, my father also came close and laughed while cleaning up the spilled baby food.
“My youngest, what did you not like? It’s frustrating not being able to speak, right?”
I looked at my mother in surprise.
“Damian also got annoyed a lot around this period, how can our youngest take after Damian a lot.”
“I, I wasn’t like that!”
My brother who was suddenly called denied it with an embarrassed face.
“It’s okay, Damian was also very cute back then. As a child who rarely whined.”
[tn– last part means that Damian complaining was cute because he rarely does it]
My mother gently stroked my brother’s head and said.
“After having eaten other things, you didn’t want to eat baby food anymore, so you complained a lot. Saying to give you something else.”
“I really don’t think I was like that……”
When my brother protested one more time, my mother gave a small laugh.
“What about Lara? Was Lara also like that?”
“Our Laurentia ate everything well.”
“Really?! Lara didn’t whine?!”
“Our second child was…..”
As my mother spoke vaguely like that, she looked at my father and smiled playfully.
“You ate your food well, but you cried when mom or dad wasn’t around.”
“Lara did? Lara was like that when she was a baby?”
“Of course. Because even now, my baby likes being with her Mom and Dad so much.”
“Right! Lara loves being with you all the most, mom, dad, big brother and Shasha!”
As my older sister said so, she and her older brother were hugged in a way as if they were jumped.
While my mother hugged the two of them like that in admiration, my father removed all the bowls of baby food and brought a baby food with a soft texture.
“You still need to eat, my youngest. Is this alright?”
I nodded my head, somehow feeling sullen.
Even though, truthfully, anything edible would be okay.
It felt like they were being concerned for no reason.
“It’s okay, my youngest. Dad is not angry.”
Saying that, my father scooped out the meal that was prepared for me and brought it to my mouth.
“Even our Anastasia wants to eat something, but it’s difficult to express it.”
At those words, I somehow felt my throat getting warm.
Why do they understand and accept everything.
Even if it wasn’t my intention, I thought it was normally something to get scolded for….
Complaining about food is a bad thing, and besides I’ve been a bother.
That day, the food that my father fed me with a bright face was also very delicious.
To the point that it made me feel more sorry that he pointlessly got caught up with something cumbersome because of me.
‘I really only want to do good things for my family…..’
* * *
However, regardless of my wish, accidents have happened several times since then.
Either I knocked over a water bottle my mother gave me, or spilled a bowl of food several times.
Not only that, I even looked like a baby who didn’t want to take a bath because I couldn’t control my strength and splashed excessively while taking a bath.
‘Wow, even when I think about it, I’m a very demanding and troublesome baby these days.’
We’re not even in the duke’s house, it was a situation where we were travelling.
In addition, I heavily knocked over the ice prepared for the people yesterday.
‘I really didn’t mean to do it…….’
Nevertheless, starting with maids and knights, no one in my family, or even the people who were supposed to receive the ice, got annoyed or frowned.
“You said that the youngest lady is about 14 months old? It’s indeed the time for that.”
“I know right, because my youngest has always been docile, rather than be worried about it, I feel relieved.”
“I also understand that feeling. You have to make a little trouble when you’re young so that you’ll be calmer later on.”
“Right? Our youngest understands almost everything, but I guess she’s even more upset because her words won’t come out well.”
“I understand you, my child also started speaking late, so he often cried out loud until his second birthday.”
The people even shared various parenting tips with my mother in the wake of the incident when I spilled the ice.
I mean, this really is normal?
It’s not something to be scolded for or something not to do?
‘……But when my older sister or older brother do something wrong, you discipline them properly.’
My sister and brother could be included as very nice children.
But nevertheless, there have been accidents because the two people were children.
At times like that, my mother and father would speak sternly.
“Laurentia, didn’t mom tell you? We’ll give you plenty of time to play after you finish eating.”
“I told you not to sleep late, Damian. You promised dad that you would read for another 30 minutes then sleep, so why didn’t you keep it?”
But I’ve never been disciplined like that before.
I wonder why?
Is it because I’m still young?
There were a lot of oddities.
Because even though the accidents continued, the attitude of my family did not change at all.
‘Naturally, I thought you’d get annoyed and hate me.’
Regardless of my intention, I felt uneasy whenever an accident occurred.
So I had a vague idea of that b*[email protected]’s intentions.
‘That b*[email protected] wanted to isolate me.’
Because if I receive my family’s hate, I’ll be neglected and be alone again.
Just like the me in the last 99 lives.
‘If that was the case, I might have considered joining hands with that b*[email protected] just to get out of this situation.’
Because it’s all thanks to my family that I’m motivated to live in this life.
Therefore, if the accidents continue on like this, I thought it would be natural for my family to hate me.
‘Perhaps, if it was the same as before, that b*[email protected]’s plan would have surely worked.’
But my family hasn’t changed at all.
No, on the contrary, my parents were relieved and liked it.
“It’s proof that our baby is growing up well. This way you can have your own opinions like this.”
“Wow, our Shasha can also be like a baby! Babies can make a mess so! I’ll clean it up for you! Because I’m your older sister!”
“It’s okay, Anastasia. If you want to scribble on your brother’s book.”
My brother even gave me the book as I was staring at it.
In my old life, there were many times when I got scolded a lot for crawling around and getting my clothes wet in a puddle that the maid had not cleaned, or even when I almost died in a minor accident.
‘……..Even that b*[email protected] would’ve never thought even in his dreams, that there is a family like this.’
While being annoyed at the same time, I felt a little sorry and even sympathetic.
Because it sounded like he’s only been continuously living a life similar to mine.
No, I don’t know if it’s similar with this life.
If you were happy with your family, you won’t have any need to be interested in me.
‘At that rate, you’d be a b*[email protected]’
If I also hadn’t met my family, I would have thought that this kind of world would only come out in dreams or fairy tales.
‘…I really wish this was normal.’
Then I would feel a little less pessimistic about my life that would continue in the future.
No, even the memories in this world alone would be enough (for me) to survive dozens of lives.
“It’s alright, my baby. Even if you do whatever you want. That’s how mom would know what our youngest doesn’t like and what you like.”
“It’s okay to be like this now. From now on, Dad will teach you what you’re not supposed to do one by one.”
Regardless of my intentions, I felt guilty whenever I caused an accident.
It may be unfair, but what’s wrong is wrong.
But my parents always hugged me *who was like that and comforted me, asking if I was surprised.
[tn– *hugged her who was causing accidents]
That’s why, I wished that this time (period) would continue to be longer.
Because it was so warm and cozy.
Because it felt like this was a normal family.
It’s only been 14 months, but I’m already used to it, what should I do?
It’s okay even if I end up getting hurt when it comes to me someday, so I’ve come to wish that it would be nice for this life to be normal.
99 and 1.
The answer given by those numbers is clear.
Even so, I kept on wanting to think about changing the normal definition over and over again.
[tn– 99 and 1. it refers to the chances that this life would be normal or different. And the last sentence meant smth like: she kept on wanting to change the meaning of those numbers— wanting this life to be normal.]