Chapter 1 Part 1
I tensed up and grabbed my knees with my damp hands.
“Actually…… His Majesty and I haven’t done it yet.”
Marianne slumped for a moment, which was not like her, but her face quickly returned to its original expression. She said in a cautious tone.
“Does the Emperor refuse you? Something must have gone wrong…… With all due respect, I am on the empress’s side, and I will help you in any way I can.”
“It is common in the South for husbands to have mistresses and neglect their wives, Your Majesty.”
Marianne seemed to be in pain as she spoke. It was a great courage in itself to speak of the injustice of the emperor. I know I shouldn’t, but I brought up the subject from my heart.
“No, it’s not like that.”
I shook my head quickly.
“His Majesty has always been loyal to me and very kind.”
Marianne finally looked relieved. She relaxed from her piercing stare and said in an even more suspicious voice:
“Because he’s very kind. His Majesty …… thought that I didn’t like this marriage. He thought I didn’t want him.”
That was not true. Since I came back from the dead, I had been waiting only for my marriage with Kwanach.
However, in this life, I was not interested in him from the beginning, just for the purpose of keeping the peace.
‘What would have happened if Kwanach had embraced me right after our marriage?’
I would have accepted it nonchalantly, thinking it was my duty. It would have been very frightening to be embraced by a rough, strong man whom I had never seen before, but I had vowed to endure anything.
But I wouldn’t be comfortable with him like was now. I wouldn’t have realized right away how kind he had been to me, and I wouldn’t have opened my heart to him right away.
“His Majesty gave me time until I was ready to accept him. He didn’t want to live like a couple bound in a political marriage.”
“Like commoners… a love marriage.”
”He’s not as cold as he looks. He’s really kind.”
“His Majesty has always had a gentle temperament. It’s just that the others don’t realize it.”
Marianne didn’t seem too sympathetic to what I was saying.
“So you decided to have your wedding night today?”
I kind of thanked Marianne for her direct question.
“You must be very nervous.”
“In the North, they don’t tell the women anything. So …… what am I supposed to do…….?”
“You know where the man and the woman are joining?”
I blinked my eyes in confusion.
I didn’t know.
I was told that the marital relationship was very sacred and it was necessary to have children.They said that if the bodies of the man and the woman come together, it will happen naturally.
However, because of the pain, I was told that they should use incense oil. They didn’t tell exactly how and where to use the oil, but…
This explanation was so vague that I had no idea what I should do.
‘Actually, I wasn’t even interested until now…..’
If I’d had a little more time, I would’ve read a book that dealt explicitly with things between men and women, and I would’ve gotten the relevant information.
“It’s just something that happens naturally when the bodies overlap.”
Didn’t our bodies also overlap when we kissed in the carriage? But my instincts told me that this was not the night consummation.
The heat in my lower stomach, the ragged breathing, it all felt like it was building up, not dissipating.
I wondered what the difference was between that moment and the real act, and what exactly would happen. I didn’t want to lie on the bed not knowing anything. The teachings I had received in the North didn’t help.
Kwanach said it was an act of making love to each other.
It was an act of going back and forth between the two sides.
Marianne stared at me and bit her lip. She looked flustered and troubled.
‘I’m sure Marianne understands me.’
Not surprisingly, because the first day I arrived at the Imperial Palace, Marianne handed me some oil. She said it would help me.
She even asked if I was in pain first. So I figured Marianne would be much better informed than me.
“Is it difficult to say? If I confused you….”
“No, Your Majesty.”
Marianne shook her head.
“I wasn’t sure where to start. I’m glad you asked me, Your Majesty. Shall we talk while taking a bath?”
There was even a hint of determination in Marianne’s face as she went to prepare the bath again.
* * * *
It was late at night.
Kwanach had been away from the Imperial Palace for a long time and had a lot of work to handle, so we couldn’t even have dinner together.
I was accompanied by Marianne to bathe completely in hot water for the first time in a long time, and waited for Kwanach in the bedroom. I was still struggling to breathe as if the steam from the bathroom was stuck around me and my face was smoldering.
Only a silk chemise was worn over my body. It was very thin and showed the contours of my body as it was, and my skin could be seen at first glance.
The neckline was cut deep and the fabric was very soft as if it could run down my shoulders at any moment. Moreover, underneath the chemise, I was completely naked.
It wasn’t the first time Kwanach had seen me dressed like this, but I was once again nervous and my throat was burning.
It was because of all the stories that Marianne had told me earlier that were running through my head.
‘Well, about the big one…’
I couldn’t really understand the explanation. Is it physically possible, or do other couples really do that every day?
As I sat on Kwanach’s thighs in the carriage, I could feel his center swelling greatly. Even over his clothes, I could see that the size of it was tremendous.
‘How am I….’
It looked incredibly painful just to imagine it. My shoulders shrunk involuntarily.
‘But, we’re going to do it today, right?’
Kwanach’s voice seemed to contain a vivid desire as he said, ”I’ll see you tonight.” I hoped I wouldn’t make a mistake because I was so nervous.
While I was waiting nervously, Kwanach finally came to my bedroom. The door was opened with the news that the emperor had arrived.
I lifted my head, which was lowering at an angle, and looked at the sliding door. Kwanach and my gaze were intertwined immediately.
For a while, there was only silence. It was as if we had made a promise to each other.
Kwanach was dressed in a comfortable shirt, as if he had finished his political duties and changed. As usual, his chest muscles were clearly visible.
I could see his chest raised up and down. I swallowed my dry saliva as I squeezed my chemise.
As soon as I turned to face Kwanach, I knew. It couldn’t be an illusion. I wasn’t so innocent that I didn’t notice the desire that colored that strong face.
Bang, the bedroom door slammed shut behind Kwanach. That moment when we were the only two left in the room. For some reason I jumped up and Kwanach strode towards me without saying a word.
There was no time to relax my legs and he was already in front of me.
Before I could even call out his name, Kwanach hugged me.
Strong arms grabbed my waist and pulled me towards his body. He leaned his upper body and kissed me.
Impatient gestures. Hot breath poured into my mouth. My back fell back as Kwanach pushed me, my chest pressed against his torso.
The hot flesh swept my mouth. It even grabbed my tongue and pulled on it while it was licking every inch of my gums.
Swish, swish, kissing sounds echoed through the air.
“Hmmm, hmmm ………”
The thick hand grabbed my chemise and rolled it up. Shallow goosebumps broke out all over my body as my skin touched the cool air.
My head shrank with heat and the insides of my thighs squeezed with more and more force. I couldn’t catch my breath.
Everything I had done in the carriage seemed fake in hindsight. Even then, I was completely out of it, but for Kwanach, I held still.
Now that he didn’t need to hold back anymore, he was rampaging like a raging beast. All the explanations I had heard from Marianne faded away. I was just trying to breathe.
Kwanach’s body pushed and crushed me. Boom! I fell on the bed behind me. Kwanach got on top of me. A huge, pitch-black shadow cast over me.
Rough hands with calluses rolled up my chemise and began to sweep my skin.
A place that had never been touched by another person’s hand.
Kwanach teased and touched my breasts.
The kiss became more and more intense . The saliva I couldn’t swallow down leaked out at the edges of our interlocking lips.
To be continued….